this place: amanda in fargo

i know this place like the back of my hand
every curve in the road
every streetlight
burnt out.

its why i dream of a distant land
unfamiliar
a feast for my eyes
mountain air
desert skies
wind lightly blowing on the nape of my neck
like a kiss
like a delicate touch
and like the feeling
that nothing is better than this.

i wake up in the morning
with the people around me
i look in their eyes and i can’t help but know
they’ve all seen the facades
that i so love to show.
wandering alone
with a hot coffee cup
i can’t act anymore
so i’ve given it up.

i’ve given it up
so have at it, world
tell me all your knowledge
and what you call wisdom
tell me what i should do
what i should’ve done
as if i don’t already know.

tell me one more time
that i’m crazy
for packing my bags
for leaving all the time
for heading off
to my version of real life
tell me you know
better than i do
tell me to stay
like a wild tiger in a zoo
tell me i’m wrong
one more time
and i will tell you
i don’t care anymore
i’ve given up on reason
i’ve given up on rhymes
i’ve given up on dreams
of someone else’s real life

i’ve given up on myself before
but i won’t do it again
the mountains
and the sky
and the tree
they are in me
in my soul i can feel their call
carried to the nape of my neck
by the wind

like a kiss.

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